Skull Session: Former Buckeye Players Sign Fat NFL Contracts, How Soon Garrett Wilson and Chris Olave Will Be Drafted, and Former Buckeye Hits 500-Foot Homer

Wishing a happy 4/20 to everyone who observes. My condolences to all our nation’s Taco Bell employees.

Word of the Day: Idiopathic.

GETTING PAID. Denzel Ward inked a $100 million contract this week to make himself the highest-paid cornerback in NFL history.

That would be impressive recruiting material for Ohio State even in a vacuum, but when you lump that fat number in with some other absurd Buckeye salaries, it starts to get just a little ridiculous.

Let’s take a gander.

Michael Thomas, Corey Linsley, Ezekiel Elliott, Marshon Lattimore, and Ward were all the highest-paid players in the entire league at their respective positions at the time of their most recent contract, with most of them also becoming the highest-paid player in NFL history at their respective positions. That’s borderline unrealistic.

Ohio State should just send this gif to every recruit in the country:

Well, this is close enough.

WHERE AND WHEN? Speaking of multimillionaires, Garrett Wilson and Chris Olave will be joining those ranks a week from today.

They’re both going to be first-round picks – I’d wager both of my testicles on that – it’s now just a matter of how high both go. And like most things in life these days, you can bet on it, if you’re so inclined.

  • Chris Olave Draft Position: Over/Under 17½
  • Garrett Wilson Draft Position: Over/Under 10
  • Jameson Williams Draft Position: Over/Under 12½

Give me the under on both of the current Buckeye receivers – 10th is the absolute latest Wilson will be going and I think Olave will be gone quite a bit earlier than No. 18. As for Jamo, I ain’t touching that. He could go anywhere from top-5 to No. 20 overall and I would not be surprised.

Regardless, all of these guys are going to be top-20 picks. Throw in Jaxon Smith-Njigba and that 2020/2021 Ohio State receivers room was without a doubt the most absurdly talented receiving unit in college football history.

MONSTER HOMER. Former Ohio State outfielder Dominic Canzone made the right kinds of headlines yesterday afternoon, smashing a baseball so far it may not have even landed yet.

Behold!

My Google machine tells me that had this been in a Major League game, a 504-foot homer would put him inside the top-10 for longest homers in MLB history. To be clear, the fact that this monster happened in the minor leagues doesn’t make it any less impressive – just more difficult to compare.

Imagine parking your car in that parking lot, not even considering it remotely possible for a ball to end up smashing your windshield. Little did you know that Thor was suited up for the home team.

Better call Safelite.

BUCKEYES IN BLUE. Well, this just doesn’t look quite right.

Hey, at least it’s not maize and blue.

In all seriousness, it sucks that those guys won’t be working with the Buckeyes, but it makes all the sense in the world that they would want to work as support staffers under their former college coach.

I’m sure they’d have no qualifications coming back and working for the Buckeyes in a more full-time capacity down the line.

SONG OF THE DAY. “As It Was” by Harry Styles.

NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. Looking back at the absolutely unexpected and totally wild origin of 420… The life and confessions of mob chef David Ruggerio… The incredible plot that tricked Hitler… Scientists invent a device for optimally separating an Oreo… Farts definitely smell worse in the shower… Japanese researchers develop electric chopsticks to enhance salty tastes…

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